Why I Ended a 12 Year Friendship, And Finally Felt Free

The irritation didn’t need fixing… it needed to be heard..

Your body will always tell you the truth your mind isn't ready to hear, but freedom begins the moment you finally listen.

It was Friday night and I was on the phone with my best friend, making small talk about funny things. But deep down, there was this pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat because I knew we were both avoiding something big.

When she started trying to make plans for next week, I wasn't actually listening at all. My brain was screaming "figure out how to get out of it! Run! Flee the building!" while my body buzzed with irritation. How had we come to this point?

She clocked it immediately - this was the 14th time I had done this that summer, and she was tired of the BS. She said something like, "I've been really trying to make an effort and you're hanging out with everyone else and I'm not invited."

My nervous system went into overdrive. I felt like I was listening to her underwater... But instead of talking my way out of it, trying to falsely reassure her, or let's call it what it is - gaslight her - I just said:

"You know what? You're right. I have been avoiding you, and I can explain more when you're not at work."

The truth is, the writing had been on the wall for this friendship for a long time. Over the past 3 years, she had lost about 100 lbs but became far more insecure than I'd ever known her to be. She became chaotic emotionally, and drama seemed to follow her everywhere. I was always there to pick up the pieces - even when she repeated the same patterns over and over.

Eventually, I became emotionally burned out. I couldn't even stand to be around her anymore. I was clinging to loyalty and nostalgia, hoping I didn't have to do the hard thing - the thing my body was now screaming for me to do and had become too loud to ignore.

While things looked calm on the surface, my body remembered every bit of our history - every time I had to rescue her, every repeated pattern, every moment I ignored my own needs to manage her emotions.

The breakthrough came when I realized that my body had been trying to protect me all along. That buzzing, that irritation, that pit in my stomach - it wasn't anxiety to fix. It was INFORMATION.

I decided I was done pretending, done keeping the peace, done carefully curating my responses so I didn't cause waves. Done placating for the sake of someone else's emotions.

I finally let the mask fall off and honored what my body was telling me.

She didn't like it - the thing I had feared from the beginning. But this time, I didn't care if it all fell apart because I had learned to trust my inner wisdom over external approval.

I eventually sent her a long message ending the relationship. She replied with instant anger, telling me she was essentially replacing me with her new boyfriend. And you know what? I felt... relief.

This is exactly why I created my program "Becoming Unbound." As a therapist and somatic coach, I've learned that our bodies hold incredible wisdom - they're constantly giving us information about what serves us and what doesn't.

If you're in a place where you're ignoring those gut feelings, tolerating relationships that drain you, or people-pleasing at the expense of your own well-being - I want to invite you to learn what I learned.

I'm opening up my first Mastermind Emotions as Information, a 75 minute workshop, that will teach you to listen to your body's wisdom and transform your life into one that's deeply aligned and fulfilling.

Yes, it's painful at times… There still comes pangs of sadness for the realization of the truth; that she could never meet me where I was. And while that truth pains me, it is worth honoring and allowing my grief to be acknowledged when it shows up. But I am 10,000% happier and more free than I've ever felt in my entire life. And I want to help you get there too - but only if you're willing to meet me in the messy, beautiful work of becoming who you really are.